It’s a shame you couldn’t be here for Liberation Day, mon vieux. But I hope you had your flags and your bean jar over there, like you did last year, eh? I didn’t go to Town, me, but I heard it was good. Mick, from Fermain, he said one of the best things was a French market they had over from Normandy.
It was here for two or three days, to the North Beach, and there were lots of people who went.
It shows what we all know, Eugene, they should have put real market stalls to the Town markets, them, instead of these English chain-store shops, eh?
Mick was saying there were one or two in Town complaining they weren’t allowed to walk round with a drink, but I suppose that’s because of the few people who spoil it for everyone else, eh?
He said if they wanted to go outside they had to sit down in a confined area outside a bar and the thing was, with this new law, the people who wanted a smoke had to stand outside. So Mick said the ones who wanted to have a cigarette with their drink weren’t too sure whether to stand up or sit down. I said to him, the visitors must have thought they were watching the locals do a strange dance for Liberation Day, eh?
And we’ve had the election since I last wrote to you, mon vieux. Caw, there were quite a few changes, that’s for sure. If I tell you the one who got the most votes in the island is a youngster who’s never stood before, that says it all. He even got more votes than the ones who were serving ministers, eh?Old Jack Torode, he said he wasn’t surprised, him. He said if he had his way, instead of voting for the good ones, you should be able to vote against the ones you don’t want, eh?The new chief minister, he was one who didn’t get many votes in the election, him. It even took six elections in the States to pick him as chief minister, eh? When you think, it’s a funny system where a candidate can scrape in with a few votes in a small parish, but a week later he can end up as chief minister, representing everyone, including people who didn’t vote for him and deputies who got more votes in the election, eh?
And you’d be surprised how some things are suddenly getting revealed afterwards, mon vieux. There’s that former Health minister. He’s been saying about all the bickering and in-fighting that went on. But they denied all that before, eh? And now the Treasury, it’s even admitted the States accounts haven’t been compiled properly. Their new minister, he says the way the States accounts are put together, no one can understand them. But I always thought that was deliberate, and you, Eugene?
He says they even show surpluses that don’t exist, so that’s worrying. After all, they’ve based all this zero-10 tax on it, and you remember, before the election, the former minister was telling us how good the finances were, eh?
You know what will happen now, mon vieux. They’ll change the way they do the accounts, them. After all, that’s a favourite trick, eh? Whenever someone takes over something they change the way the records are kept,
so people can’t compare them with the previous ones and then no one can tell if they’re doing better or worse, eh?
There’s a new one in charge of the environment now as well, and I heard they’ve got some smaller buses at last, but they’re saying they’re only temporary. They still don’t agree the buses are too big for the island roads, them, eh? And they’re still not saying what traffic plans they’ve got for the new school, them. Bert, from L’Ancresse, he went round there the other day and he said there’s traffic lights and chicanes going in all over the place. He said they put those traffic lights along the front, saying how it would improve the traffic flow, but there’s queues now that there never were before, so what will it be like round the new school?
Bert said it was a shame to see the old Guernsey lanes with granite walls turning into roads like in the UK, with traffic lights and signs everywhere.
He reckons when the school opens it will be like that M25 in England. Every morning when a few buses try to get past each other it will turn into Guernsey’s biggest car park, eh?
I was thinking, me, it’s funny how they can close roads for months, and rearrange them like that without telling anyone what they’re doing, but they can’t sort out that car park to Cobo, eh? The constables, they’ve had a big digger to move the granite stones again after someone put them all in the way. But they still can’t be sure who owns the land, because it belongs to an old fief and it goes back to 1743 or something. Caw, I know property prices in Guernsey have gone up, Eugene, but it comes to something when a piece of tarmac and a couple of granite boulders are worth so much, eh?
I said to Bert, in the end the problem will sort itself out if they keep moving the boulders like that: the stones will gradually get ground down to sand and then it will be just like the rest of the west coast, eh?
And the new States, they’re supposed to be working to that business plan, eh?The one that says the first priority is to show everyone that Guernsey is independent from the UK? Well, they’ve got their first job, them. That data protection one, he was in the Press the other day saying how the UK banks have been telling the English tax authorities about Guernsey accounts.It’s because the local banks use the English ones to do their computer records.
Caw, that’s not very good for all this security and money laundering and all that, eh?
I mean, that financial commission keeps saying how local banks are better and how they’re independent of the English ones, but that doesn’t look very independent to me, Eugene.
It’s no wonder the local ones got so upset about not going to double summer time unless the English do, eh?
It’s Jersey who wants to look at double summer time now, Eugene, and talking of Jersey,
I didn’t tell you we won the Siam Cup, us, eh? The crapauds, they were supposed to be a much better team, them, but the Guernsey lads taught them a lesson, that’s for sure.
It’s a shame I can’t say the same for the Muratti, mon vieux.
Caw, we were leading right up the last few minutes, us, and then they equalised, so it went to extra time again just like last year. And would you believe, the bloney crapauds beat us on penalties again, just like they did before. Jack said it reminded him of how a chief minister can get elected: one who doesn’t play well and gets the least support can still end up winning, eh?
Liberating thoughts
CHER Eugene,
It’s a shame you couldn’t be here for Liberation Day, mon vieux. But I hope you had your flags and your bean jar over there, like you did last year, eh? I didn’t go to Town, me, but I heard it was good. Mick, from Fermain, he said one of the best things was a French market they had over from Normandy.
It was here for two or three days, to the North Beach, and there were lots of people who went.
It shows what we all know, Eugene, they should have put real market stalls to the Town markets, them, instead of these English chain-store shops, eh?
Mick was saying there were one or two in Town complaining they weren’t allowed to walk round with a drink, but I suppose that’s because of the few people who spoil it for everyone else, eh?
He said if they wanted to go outside they had to sit down in a confined area outside a bar and the thing was, with this new law, the people who wanted a smoke had to stand outside. So Mick said the ones who wanted to have a cigarette with their drink weren’t too sure whether to stand up or sit down. I said to him, the visitors must have thought they were watching the locals do a strange dance for Liberation Day, eh?
And we’ve had the election since I last wrote to you, mon vieux. Caw, there were quite a few changes, that’s for sure. If I tell you the one who got the most votes in the island is a youngster who’s never stood before, that says it all. He even got more votes than the ones who were serving ministers, eh?Old Jack Torode, he said he wasn’t surprised, him. He said if he had his way, instead of voting for the good ones, you should be able to vote against the ones you don’t want, eh?The new chief minister, he was one who didn’t get many votes in the election, him. It even took six elections in the States to pick him as chief minister, eh? When you think, it’s a funny system where a candidate can scrape in with a few votes in a small parish, but a week later he can end up as chief minister, representing everyone, including people who didn’t vote for him and deputies who got more votes in the election, eh?
And you’d be surprised how some things are suddenly getting revealed afterwards, mon vieux. There’s that former Health minister. He’s been saying about all the bickering and in-fighting that went on. But they denied all that before, eh? And now the Treasury, it’s even admitted the States accounts haven’t been compiled properly. Their new minister, he says the way the States accounts are put together, no one can understand them. But I always thought that was deliberate, and you, Eugene?
He says they even show surpluses that don’t exist, so that’s worrying. After all, they’ve based all this zero-10 tax on it, and you remember, before the election, the former minister was telling us how good the finances were, eh?
You know what will happen now, mon vieux. They’ll change the way they do the accounts, them. After all, that’s a favourite trick, eh? Whenever someone takes over something they change the way the records are kept,
so people can’t compare them with the previous ones and then no one can tell if they’re doing better or worse, eh?
There’s a new one in charge of the environment now as well, and I heard they’ve got some smaller buses at last, but they’re saying they’re only temporary. They still don’t agree the buses are too big for the island roads, them, eh? And they’re still not saying what traffic plans they’ve got for the new school, them. Bert, from L’Ancresse, he went round there the other day and he said there’s traffic lights and chicanes going in all over the place. He said they put those traffic lights along the front, saying how it would improve the traffic flow, but there’s queues now that there never were before, so what will it be like round the new school?
Bert said it was a shame to see the old Guernsey lanes with granite walls turning into roads like in the UK, with traffic lights and signs everywhere.
He reckons when the school opens it will be like that M25 in England. Every morning when a few buses try to get past each other it will turn into Guernsey’s biggest car park, eh?
I was thinking, me, it’s funny how they can close roads for months, and rearrange them like that without telling anyone what they’re doing, but they can’t sort out that car park to Cobo, eh? The constables, they’ve had a big digger to move the granite stones again after someone put them all in the way. But they still can’t be sure who owns the land, because it belongs to an old fief and it goes back to 1743 or something. Caw, I know property prices in Guernsey have gone up, Eugene, but it comes to something when a piece of tarmac and a couple of granite boulders are worth so much, eh?
I said to Bert, in the end the problem will sort itself out if they keep moving the boulders like that: the stones will gradually get ground down to sand and then it will be just like the rest of the west coast, eh?
And the new States, they’re supposed to be working to that business plan, eh?The one that says the first priority is to show everyone that Guernsey is independent from the UK? Well, they’ve got their first job, them. That data protection one, he was in the Press the other day saying how the UK banks have been telling the English tax authorities about Guernsey accounts.It’s because the local banks use the English ones to do their computer records.
Caw, that’s not very good for all this security and money laundering and all that, eh?
I mean, that financial commission keeps saying how local banks are better and how they’re independent of the English ones, but that doesn’t look very independent to me, Eugene.
It’s no wonder the local ones got so upset about not going to double summer time unless the English do, eh?
It’s Jersey who wants to look at double summer time now, Eugene, and talking of Jersey,
I didn’t tell you we won the Siam Cup, us, eh? The crapauds, they were supposed to be a much better team, them, but the Guernsey lads taught them a lesson, that’s for sure.
It’s a shame I can’t say the same for the Muratti, mon vieux.
Caw, we were leading right up the last few minutes, us, and then they equalised, so it went to extra time again just like last year. And would you believe, the bloney crapauds beat us on penalties again, just like they did before. Jack said it reminded him of how a chief minister can get elected: one who doesn’t play well and gets the least support can still end up winning, eh?
A la perchoine,
Your cousin Emile.
Article posted on 17th May, 2008 - 9.00am