Cher Eugene,

Caw, I don’t know where the year’s gone, Eugene.  We’re into July already, us, we’ve had the Viaer Marchi and the schools will be breaking up soon, them, eh?

It seems to me it’s come quick, but then in years gone by we’d have loads of visitors, with the ferries full and hire cars everywhere, so you’d know we were into summer, eh?

But now there’s the Strawberry Farm closed and the Moulin Huet Pottery is going as well because there’s not enough tourists, eh?

That VisitGuernsey, it says the visitor numbers have gone up, but the one from Sausmarez Manor, he says the trouble is most of the visitors these days come from cruise ships.

And the passengers, they either go round the island in a bus or they just visit Town, so no-one goes to the attractions to the country anymore, eh?

I have to say, I still don’t really know what this VisitGuernsey is, mon vieux. It seems the visitors don’t know much about it either, eh?

I know it’s run from the old States offices, where the post office was going to move to. But I told you the post office isn’t going there any more, eh? It’s moving into a shop the other side of Smith Street.

On the Press it said the application for alterations went through really quick, but that’s no surprise, eh, mon vieux?

I mean, it’s for the States. It’s different for the rest of us, eh?

And the post office is only moving because the States want to sell that Nelson Place to raise money. They’ve already sold Belvedere House for £5m, them. Well, they have to fill their black hole somehow, eh?

But the trouble is, you know what will happen, Eugene. It will be bought by a big company and end up a bank or one of these English chain shops, like happened to the Markets.

Perhaps that’s why they’ve got that VisitGuernsey to the old States offices, mon vieux. It will soon be the only place left in Town still something to do with Guernsey, eh?

I was talking to Jack Torode about all the shops that have disappeared and he was saying the States don’t seem to care about local businesses any more. It’s not just the shops, but the growing and the tourism.

And it could be the same with the milk if the Commerce and Employment get their way, eh?  There’s some saying the same thing will happen to the fishing unless the States do something to help.

And here’s a frightening thing, mon vieux, I heard someone on the Guernsey radio saying the island couldn’t even grow enough vegetables now to be self-sufficient. Caw, that’s an island that used to be full of growers, eh?

I said to Jack, perhaps they should convert the Strawberry Farm to a hanging vegetable farm, eh?

The trouble is, the States think the island can survive on just the finance industry, Eugene, and having loads of companies registered here.

It was on the Press how they’ve even started a new registry for companies and it could make about £9m. for the States.

Well, I suppose the companies aren’t paying any tax, so they’ve got to get money from them somehow, but I don’t see they have to let them buy up all the land and properties as well, eh?

I’ve said before, any tourists visiting St Peter Port these days, well, they’d just think they were in any English high street so they wouldn’t want to come back, them.

There’s even a big UK company interested in buying the lease for Herm now.

It owns the heliport in London and is mad keen on helicopters. Hang, that would upset the campers and the cows, eh?

When you think, they wanted a landing pad on Sark as well, so Guernsey could end up the only island without one. Perhaps it would solve the runway problem, eh, mon vieux?

And I told you about the fuss to the car park at Cobo, eh? No one seemed to know who was moving boulders and cars in the middle of the night? And no one knew who owned the land?

Well, it turns out the fief is owned by a company in the British Virgin Islands. I’ve never been there, Eugene, and it may be British and it may be an island, but I know it’s not bloney local, eh?

The trouble is, with all this property being bought by big companies, there’s not much left that’s Guernsey, eh?

The States, they put in their business plan to show how Guernsey is independent, but they can’t do anything themselves without getting consultants in from the UK and they just copy what happens there.

And when you think, every time it comes to a decision, they say they can’t do anything different from England unless the UK government agrees, like deciding on a bank holiday or moving the clocks forward an hour, eh?

The Policy Council, it was supposed to be looking into changing the clocks in Guernsey, but now the chief minister he’s said since Jersey is going to have a referendum on it, he’s going to wait and see what happens there before he even discusses it.

So that means the Guernsey States are waiting to hear what Jerseymen think before they do anything, Eugene.

Caw, the old Guernsey donkeys would be turning in their graves, them, eh?

Mind you, like Jack said, if they’re waiting to find out what the crapauds are thinking, they could be waiting a long time, eh?

I heard the Jersey States have done a report on how they could be more independent from the UK as well.  But it turns out Guernsey States members didn’t even know about it. So at least we’re independent from the Crapauds on one thing, eh?

I’ve said before, all the States have to do is stop following everything that the UK does, eh?

And now England has to follow all these silly European rules as well, we don’t want those here, us, or we’ll end up with bloney straight bananas. Or tomatoes that are perfectly round, and perfectly coloured and perfectly tasteless, eh?

Like Jack says, we’ve got a different climate, so we can grow better tomatoes and we’ve got better beaches despite these European blue flag things.

Even the Societe says how there’s different species of flowers and things on the cliffs that you can’t find in the rest of Europe.

I was telling Jack there’s even some new species of birds been seen to that walk round the reservoir. He said the walk wasn’t built when he was young, but he still found places to go to look for new birds, eh?

If you ask me, we have to keep the things that make Guernsey different, eh, mon vieux?

Like there was talk on the Press about a group that wants to make improvements to Trinity Square. They said it would be good to change the roads and perhaps make a circular route round it.

So Guernsey could have a square that is really a triangle with a circular route round it.  That would be different, eh, mon vieux?

A la perchoine,

Your cousin Emile