20

Cheesed Off

@ St Marcouf

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to deal with being widowed? Do you know how expensive funeral costs are? Do you know how hard it is to suddenly have to adjust emotionally and financially?

Report abuse

22

maureen

I think some people may be missing the point Mrs Gallienne will work again she is not workshy,just wanting time to grieve and it should be equality for all ,other widows get a year why not her.interesting that the states want to pay new mothers 6 months money to stay off work,such a happy time for them. I was back at work after having my child after 2 days and my children were loved and cared for and turned out fine.

Report abuse

24

Terry Langlois

The whole bereavement grant idea seems a bit odd. Is it only widows that qualify?

If the idea is to ease the pain of the loss, then why do widowers not get it? Men suffer as much as women in that situation.

We all suffer terrible loss at some points in our lives, but I am not convinced that it is appropriate for us to pay an allowance to everyone who suffers personal loss or emotional heartache. If someone has a genuine financial need then there are benefits that are available to cover all sorts of situations (such as not being able to work or having nowhere to live), but I do not think that the loss itself should give rise to a payment. Any such scheme should apply to none or apply to all, and I would prefer it applying to none.

My understanding is that this allowance was brought in to soften the blow of removing another oddity – the widow’s pension which again was not paid to widowers in identical situations. In the modern age there is no justification for differentiating between men and women when determining benefits (maternity aside obviously). Women stopped being passively dependant on their working husband many years ago.

Report abuse

26

carolv

feel i must reply mrs gallienne is wonderful lady who gave up her job to look after her husband and cared for till he went in hospital where he died she was along with her twin sister and other members of family every day she is in mourning and deserves to something from states widows allowance to help well she has depression she is not scrounger as for last comment she dont want another man she loves her husband and wants him but cant let me ask you have you who are giving wrong opions ever been and see someone you love in morgue i have and so has mrs gallienne this girl is sufffering from grief and depression come on states give her some money and she dont want chrildren

Report abuse

28

Leliya

Makes 0 sense.
It was called the Widows Pension – she is a widow.
Its now called the Bereavement Benefit – she is bereaved.
It doesn’t mention age anywhere. It’s a ridiculous notion to say that she’s “too young to be a widow/bereaved” which is essentially what they are saying.

Report abuse

30

Town Dweller

Simple. A widow should be allowed at least 50% of her husband’s contributions or pension.

It seems wrong that Mrs Gallienne will get nothing of the ‘subs’ her husband paid into the pot.

Also I hate to think what the unemployables outside Wheadon House are getting out of Mr Gallienne’s contributions

Report abuse

32

di

St marcouf have you never heard of depressive illness?.

Report abuse

34

Terry Langlois

Town Dweller – despite the headline, this is not about the pension. She does not seem to be complaining about the pension as she is not of pensionable age herself. Quite rightly, she does not seem to be asking to be able to draw her pension just yet.

When she is of pensionable age, she will qualify.

Report abuse

36

St Marcouf

Di/Karen

Grief is a set of emotions and not a mental illness. If grief descends into mental illness such as depression then it will fall within the remit of sickness benefit.

I used the word crippling in the literal sense.

I take your point on the logic behind the benefit, in which case perhaps it should be means tested.

Report abuse

38

Karen

St Marcouf,

You must have been lucky enough to not ever have suffered circumstances in which you have been severely emotionally affected(although with some of your posts I wonder if there is much emotional capacity there).

Grief can be much more significant than being merely ‘a set of emotions’ and can be absolutely debilitating. The term ‘grief stricken’ is very apt

Whilst it may not be an illness in the technical sense it does not mean that it cannot leave someone’s life crippled or indeed lead to diagnosable depression.

Your post seems to be suggesting that nobody should be entitled to a bereavement grant. Any grant given is not necessarily to fund funeral expenses (although it may help) but as financial assistance for someone at a time where it could be much needed and appreciated and enable the beneficiary to have breathing space and time to start to piece their life back together.

As for means testing, just what you need on top of everything else….a raft of red tape and forms to wade through. I don’t have any problem with the current arrangement (other than questioning why age in this circumstance should be relevant). I was agreeing that bereavement is not confined to the loss of a spouse.

Report abuse

40

St Marcouf

Karen, I suffered dreadfully from homesickness as a young child for years, which is a very similar feeling to grief and is really a form of grief – one which struck multiple times each year, had to be hidden from others, and by definition couldn’t be dealt within the comfort of one’s own home or amongst family.

The only remedy was to maintain a stiff upper lip and just get on with it. C’est la vie.

Report abuse